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I want to know if the vampire story I'm writing is cliche or not? Like disgusting cliche and bad. I want to know if you enjoyed reading it/think that it would be acceptable? It's directed towards young adults and WILL contain gore, but no nudity or major profanity, so it's safe to read.

Appreciate it if comments were on the page itself :3

Contritum: Silver and Red | Chapter 1 by Akara-Legend

Minor gore. Nothing 13+ couldn't handle. xD


SPOILER PLOX:









There is no specific year it's set in, since it has nothing to do with the real world, but it's based off of medieval times. It's hard to explain the plot without spoiling what it's about and causing more confusion. The basic idea is that there is a pact between Contritum (human kingdom) and Lunasol (lycanthrope kingdom) in which they vow to protect them from vampires, as long as they give a third of their crop/animals to them, but the pact gets broken when children (who are not killed) are mysteriously stolen from the Capitol, and the werewolf princess flees home, and a war starts between the lycanthrope and humans, giving the vampires an opportunity to plan against them. They plan on building an army of stolen children (since children are easily manipulated) and attempt to take Contritum. The second half involves two children who live on a human plantation/farm where the vampires keep humans like animals. They manage to escape with  two others, and try to find their way back to Contritum. (interesting stuff happens that makes this side interesting). I think the plot will become more clear when I add new chapters.
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:icongangakc:
gangakc Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014
hey everyone if you are intrested in animals then please check my art.. also pleaseee leave a comment...

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:iconalix1996:
Alix1996 Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for your approval! :bestbuddies: 
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:iconkantoknight:
KantoKnight Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Do you guys accept fanfiction submissions?
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:iconalmrixgirl:
AlmrixGirl Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Student General Artist
can you advertise my poem contest: clair-beleived-it.deviantart.c…
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:iconlovablelilkitten:
LovableLilKitten Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2014
I accidentally submitted my writing "Dog" in the wrong category. I mean to submit it in "Emotional".
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